Yesterday Tiger was laid off from her job. Knew it was coming. Gerald at work is helping update her resume and sending it out to help her find work. I think that is pretty awesome. I hope Tiger finds a great job with fantastic benefits and hours...she deserves that kind of break.
My sobriety is going well, hanging in there. Working the program as best as I can. My sponsor SEP is helping alot. She has become a good friend to boot. Looking forward to the AA Retreat in a couple of weeks. I know Tiger isn't all that excited, she does it for me, but I know she really enjoyed it last year.
Tiger is sleeping right now. I am tempted to wake her up, don't know why, there isn't anything for her to do. Best to let sleeping Tigers lie, I guess.
My lecturing is going well. Hope my jobs are safe. Oh well, can't worry about that. Let go and let God.

Well, it's been awhile since I have written on my blog. Still having problems staying sober this year, but I think this time it is going to stick. I have a different perspective and my last drunk was totally unfulfilling. I spent the whole time regretting the drink for the time lost in sobriety. My sponser SEP says that is a great sign that I have probably hit my very bottom. I certainly hope so.
I am hating my teaching job and am looking for another job but not having much luck. Everyone wants people with 3 or more years insurance experience which I don't have. I just don't know what I am going to do. I am toying with the idea of going back to school to become a drug and alcohol counselor. But I don't know how I can do school and 2 jobs at the same time. I already tried it once and it darn near killed me. I need the school to fire me so I can get unemployment so I can do it.

Met with my sponsor SEP for my fifth step last saturday. It was a really informative experience. She took my faults and showed that the opposite assetts needs to replace them, kind of like an absessed tooth being filled. The whole thing took about 3 hours. SEP doesn't shirk on the time she spends with me.
Bird has been sick with pleursy. Went to visit with her and keep her company Sunday night. It was a nice visit. Spent an hour and a half with her while Tiger went to an Al Anon meeting. We talked about AA stuff, of course.

Yesterday I celebrated my 2 month soberity. My new sponsor gave me a medallion "Change". I thought that was real sweet of her. Then my sponsor, another and I went out to Boom, a gay restaraunt for dinner. It was a nice time.
I think my new sponsor is really going to help me with my problem with staying sober this past year. We have been partnered now for nearly 3 weeks and we have met at least that many times face to face, and then the phone calls where she has called me just because she was thinking of me. My last sponsor never met me face to face, much to my frustration, and she never called me to check up on me. It was all on me. So I am really cherishing this new sponsor whom I shall name SEP. SEP has me working on my fourth step finally. I was tired of being on the first 3 steps since 2008, it was time to move on and SEP agreed. Next is step 5 where I sit down and talk with her about step four, my faults and strengths. She insisted that step 4 include strengths too, that the purpose was not to be a self-flagellation but an inventory of ones morals, which includes positive and negative. It was hard to come up with positives. She had me come up with double the positives to the negatives, real tough but I did it.
I am finally feeling really comfortable at LLL. I have been going to AA nearly every night and enjoying it. It has taken 2 1/2 years, so it is about time. I am making good friends now. My one good buddy whom I will call Bird is pretty special to me. She really made an effort to befriend me. She'd call when she thought that I was down and maybe headed for trouble. I thought that was pretty special of Bird. Bird's got a great sense of humor and seems to get my sense of humor as well.
I have an Advisory Board Meeting I have to chair today and I am a nervous wreck about it. I am no public speaker. Also there will be alcohol there, and I know the smell of it will play havoc on my senses. But one thing I can be sure of; when I get home today, Bird will call to check and make sure that I am okay. I think that is a pretty special friend.
Well, I don't have anything profound to write about so I am going to sign off.

So I made a B in the class I thought I would make a C in and an A in the computer class. Yeah, good job for me. I did great on my finals which is what saved my hide. I dropped out of school though because it was killing me. I hope to resume in the Spring of 11, but we shall see if that happens. Mostly because if my teaching job goes full time, I won't have time to go to school for real.

I had a relapse. It was a stupid thing. I got upset about something and the stinkin' thinkin' kicked in. Of course I found myself at a liquor store, dumb me. It's like a whole different personality kicked in...I just didn't care. But I finished the bottle, called my sponsor and got sober all over again. New sober date 9/11/2010. What a horrible date. Oh well, at least I am back on track and in swift manner. Not so many are lucky. Tiger was afraid we were in for a long haul. I got an appointment with RedCorn and RedCorn and I talked about my stinkin' thinkin'. It was a powerful appointment. She is a real good therapist.

I am looking forward to the AA Retreat this coming weekend. I really need it. It should be a blast from what I hear. Maybe I should take a bag of Depends! Just joking. Well, that is all the news for now. I have work I must be doing.

Well, I did amazingly well in both my classes. I wrote those papers and made 100%'s on both. What a miracle. But I was so tired that I dropped school. I hope to pick it up again in the Spring. I just had to take a break, besides, my therapist was shaking her finger at me tellling me that I needed to drop school for my own sake.

I sure like my therapist, I'll call her Redcorn because she looks so much like she could be the sister of John Redcorn on King of the Hill. She is so beautiful, physically I mean. Even Tigar says so. Redcorn is so pretty on the eyes, not to mention such a good therapist. I like her alot. I think she is the best therapist I have ever had...and not just because she is so pretty.

I have been enjoying lecturing to my class. I have this one student who is smart as a whip. She knows her stuff. Unfortunately, she got herself in a bind with harvesting rather than coming to class. I almost had to fail her. Fortunately I found a loophole so she is able to catch up, but I told her this was the only time I was going to do this. I don't want to be taken advantage of.

My other job is having a rough spot. Somehow I have gotten behind. Don't know how that has happened. This weekend I am really going to have to put to it. I just don't see how I got behind.

As for my mental health, I've gone crazy. I am having problems, the old ones have cropped up. My poor therapist is really earning her keep. Tiger and I are hanging in there in spite of the hard times. We will be going on a retreat soon. We are hoping it will help us. I know the problem is all me, but it puts alot of strain on poor Tiger. I just feel like I am going crazy again. You would think with all the drugs I am one I would feel just peachy, but I don't. Redcorn says I have a problem that is deepseated and needs worked on. I nearly laughed myself off the couch.

Well this is just an update on my life. Nothing interesting. I sure could use a trip somewhere. I am looking forward to the retreat.

Good Teacher, Lousy Student

Well, I've been 'teaching' at Brookline College since June 7,2010. Mostly it is student directed so far. By that I mean the students follow the books and self-learn. The instructor is there to answer any questions and to proctor the tests. Eventually the format is going to change so that the teacher will actually teach. That is what I am looking forward to. I have this one student that is all mine. In other words, she is the only one that has gotten far enough to be in the medical coding and billing part, which is what I teach. She likes to ask a lot of questions, so I am real happy with that.

I am tired of my own school, the classes I am taking for my own education. I just am not learning. The online format is just not for me. I want to quit but Tiger won't let me quit. Tiger goes on and on about how hard it was to find a job. How every thing wanted an RHIT. Quite frankly, I will never pass the RHIT test at the rate I am going. And I still have to take Algerbra, how am I ever going to pass THAT? I am so frustrated I could just lay down and cry. I have 2 paper due very, very soon and I haven't even gotten started on them. I have tried but I can't find the information online I need to do it. I have spent so much time researching the one due this week I won't have time to write even if I did find the information. I want to withdraw from the class but Tiger tells me I have to stay. Right now I have a high C in the class. What a downer. Guess I am just going to have to fake it and get an F on the paper.